I’ve been prepping for an exhibition called ‘See My Selfie’ by Girl Gang Sheffield. A few female artists have been invited to submit a self-portrait to the exhibition.
Well, I seem to be one of the only photographers who are involved and it has not.been.easy to try and produce work for this. Every winter, without fail, someone will say to me ‘I miss your photographs, it’s a shame you don’t do photography anymore.’ And every year I say ‘I DO do photography, but I don’t do in the winter because it’s too dark!’
And it has been indeed too dark to come up with any beautiful cyanotypes, even though I’ve tried my hardest, all the films I worked on were terribly underexposed. I refuse to take digitals, it’s just not me anymore. From now on my digitals are really only for study purposes.
I’m going to give the cyanotypes another whirl, but I think I’m going to end up submitting a sketch book of failures. According to Joanne, who’s organising the exhibition. Seeing me struggle with taking a self-portrait is as interesting and useful as if I took a really brilliant one. I think I’m pretty brave to submit a development sketchbook without a final piece. (Not that I didn’t end up having to do that several times at university.) I’m going to use the opportunity of making a sketchbook to explore some parts of myself that I am currently bemused/shocked/in awe of. For example; My belly button, which now looks like a popped out cats bum. My actual bum, which looks like a squashed satsuma. And most of all, my boobs. Whenever I saw breastfeeding ladies boobs I always thought ‘that will never happen to me! My boobs will never look that veiny/ brown. I was wrong, my boobs are veiny and brown as hell. They certainly do not look like sexy little ‘puppies’ anymore. They are now engorged, angry looking rottweilers. Throughout this pregnancy, a LOT of things have happened to my body that I didn’t think would ever happen to me. The first and most notable case being that in actual fact, I didn’t think I’d actually get pregnant ever.
Well here are some instants that I took the other day, to prep for the exhibition. I’ve decided to entitle my submission: ‘What the fuck is happening to me?’
Some nice one with clothes on.
‘Please be careful with the film, it’s expensive’
‘Polaroids make anyone look nice….RIGHT?’
And finally, my digital negative which would make a wonderful cyanotype print IF IT WAS SUNNY!!
To be continued…..