I decided to try out Mama Social. I’m not really into the idea of baby & toddler groups, but this one seemed a little more…. trendy. From the looks of the Mama Social instagram (@mama_social) the mothers at the event seemed a little younger than the mothers in my local area and I felt like I would have more in common with them.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t really in the mood for making friends. Baby has his head right down in my pelvis, ready to make his grand entrance, and ever since he’s done that I have been veeerrrrry sleepy. You know when you see someone an event, and they’re really quiet, so you assume they must be shy? Yeah, the mums at Mama Social were really friendly to me, as if I was shy. Really I am just tired and grumpy. I also ate a lot of miniature snacks that I believe were put there for the babies. #notsorry
Noor Hibbert was doing a talk there, she is a business and success coach for mothers. Her website: www.thisisyourdream.com
I found her talk VERY interesting as it underlined a few life lessons I’ve learnt recently. Here are a few key points I picked up on:
I’ve heard of wealth abundance mentality but not time abundance. I always have all the time in the world. Since learning a few years ago that ‘I don’t have time’ actually means ‘I don’t want to’. I’ve just started being real and saying ‘I don’t want to do that’ instead of saying ‘I don’t have time’. This includes being real with myself as well as other people.
Whenever a client or friend wants to meet me, I never bullshit them and make out like fitting them into my busy and important schedule is a big stretch and that I may be able to spare 5 minutes here or there. When I sit down with someone, I want them to feel like I have all the time in the world for them. And I do. If I have work to do it gets done in the hours I might have spent watching TV or lazing around. People ask me how I get everything done, and I think that it comes from the attitude that I don’t actually think I’m a busy person or I have too much to do. I don’t tell myself or other people, ‘I just don’t have the time to keep a blog/run a business/be your friend/go to an event.’ As if having no time is some kind of virtue that everyone should aspire to. Busy =/= productive.
It was nice to get some back up on this, because I don’t come across many people who always have time, it made me feel a bit wobbly that I’m not doing the right thing or presenting myself in the right way.
Spend Time With People Who Lift You UP
A few months ago, I was spending my time, both real and online, with people who don’t DO anything. And I was not being productive, I was not spending my time wisely. If I fail, I want to be around people who can tell me I can do better and help teach me how to do that, not people who want me to fail because it makes them feel more comfortable about never trying for anything in the first place.
Being a Successful Business Woman Doesn’t Mean You Are Sacrificing Being a Mother
Noor didn’t take maternity leave. She started her first business when she was 31 weeks pregnant, and she spends ALL her time with her daughters. I feel like this has given me a lot of validation in myself, when telling clients or partners that I don’t want to take mat leave, at least I know now that it can be done. And I learned that Noor has had similar experiences to me with people around her telling her what can and can’t be done. Noor has had a lot of people telling her that her dreams aren’t possible, because they don’t understand, they don’t ‘get it’. She says to ignore them. I will continue to do so 😛
Finally, it was really refreshing to hear the following words come out of a woman’s mouth:
I can do that with my eyes closed.
She wasn’t talking about changing a nappy, or putting on her eyeliner, she was talking about starting a brand and establishing a sales pipeline. I’ve really been noticing the way that women talk recently, because I feel like women are taught to look for approval and validation from other people, we’re taught not to show off, not to sound too full of ourselves. But I’ve learnt that can hold women back, because if you don’t tell people what your skills are, they won’t know about them, it’s as simple as that. Telling people about your skills might make you sound bigheaded, but it also creates new opportunities. Businesses have to delegate, they know they aren’t good at everything, so when they are asking around ‘do you know anyone who is good at x?’ make sure that you’re the name people put forward.
Thankyou Noor for an interesting talk at Mama Social.